I have a loving heart and I desire to love and be loved like everyone else does. I have some trouble you see, when I look out into the world with my perception not being in harmony. Why? I am looking at a world, troubled and encompassing virtually endless 'realities' of its own. I am looking at this myriad of monumentally-myopic-madness through shattered eyes.
My eyes see a world shattered daily by the brokenness of spirit, and by the pain and hurting in all that betrays humanity: in all that humanity perpetuates to betray itself. My eyes mirror to the world the reflection of a soul: murdered: shattered: beaten and battered; a soul so valiantly working to become whole.
Shattered, tattered, scattered, by the stigma that fills the air. Winds blow and howl; through my squinting eyes so much of life has been blurred: soul vision; so obscured by the very nature of my woundedness.
A mirror crashed; smashed all over the ground. It was hardened, not flexible and its demise made such a horrifying sound. Shards of glass, pieces of mind sent reeling, flying, spinning into the echoing canyon of a lifetime blurred. A lifetime separated distinctly several times within itself: shattered ego: shattered sight, the utter epitome of the loudest-silence ever heard.
Images outside of myself, disconnected and distanced by the shards of glass that pierced the pieces of my mind; the illusion of which our mind's hindsight does still hold. Shattered eyes cannot help but mis-read the signs along the highway of life. This is the cause of much inner-strife. How many off-ramps were missed? How much time has been lost? Envision this and its incumbant human cost?
Torn and traumatized, not loved and warmly baptized by life the parts of self: thrust out, burst out: and do so to a world with such unenlightened vision, such lack of understanding they do scream and shout...we are in a war in here!! We are living in fear!!
We see you, we see others individually too, and we try to accept this. We try not to judge or to run from you. So why when you ; with the vision of one encounter us, with the visions of many, why do you run? What are you afraid of?
Shattered and unshattered eyes need to look in the same direction and attempt to view a shared collective picture if humanity is to undo any of the dispicable damage to the shattered cracked rear view. Shattered eyes that tear so gently, adult eyes today, the child's eyes of yesterday. Rivers of emotions flowing inside against themselves often for even the tears do not stream to the same heartache or ocean. The power of one, shattered, over and over becomes the power of many scattered. The power of many scattered slowly can realize one collective goal. The goal of peacefully co-existing in a system whose eyes are focused by the shattered lenses through which the world we do view: is the world out there prepared to look the other way, to know, to hear and believe all that these shattered eyes do portray?
© 1996 A.J. Mahari
Child Yesterday and a Survivor today Prose From the Soul Soul's Self-Help