In the audio program, “Coping With Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People” A.J. Mahari talks about the reality of coping with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people generally with a focus on the reality that holidays bring out the worst of the worst in toxic relating.
The Legacy of Toxic Relationships – Where The Personality Disordered and The Non Personality Disordered Interconnect and Suffer
Toxic relationships seem to be pervasive to the point where healthy relationships are in the minority. Toxic relationships are proliferating and have been doing so for the better part of the last few decades. Toxic relationships are the coming together of adults, who carry wounded children deep inside of them, and who were raised in [...]
Yet another school shooting in The United States. Ohio of all places. It really is getting to the point where it isn’t a matter of will this happen again, but where and when. We don’t even seem to spend as much time on the whys anymore. Does the formidable and far-reaching nature of the answers [...]
Most people when they realize they are in a toxic relationship, at some point or other, come to the conclusion they have made a mistake. A mistake that is likely a series of mistakes in reality. This is a crucial fork in the road of your understanding actually. This point of painful realization is a [...]
Are you in a toxic relationship? Are things chaotic, dramatic, with lots of conflict? Did you ever think love could be that complicated? Well, guess what, love is not really that complicated at all.
What is felt and shared in toxic relationships is not healthy love. It is toxic love. It is more often than not a kind of codependency. It can be likened to an addiction. Only the addiction in a toxic relationship (while one or both partners may have other addictions as well) is in and of itself an addiction to the other person and to this relationship or to being in an relationship.
Toxic relationship recovery rarely means that such a relationship can survive or be saved. Each person in a toxic relationship needs to learn to take a little more responsibility for him or herself and each will also benefit from focusing on him/herself instead of putting an inordinate amount of focus, time, and energy onto the other.
The fact that a relationship is toxic means that it really needs to come to an end. Sometimes toxic relationships result from the mix of each partner’s unresolved past issues. Other times toxic relationships are at base reflective of major incompatibility.
Verbal abuse has become so common for so many that victims can take years to finally question the way they are treated when they are being constantly verbally abused. It is then difficult, especially after so long, for the victim, whose self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence have been beaten down for so long to believe that they do not deserve the abuse that they have been subject to and to feel helpless in the face of it and hopeless about escaping it or insisting it stops.
Verbal abuse is insidious. It is proliferating. It is damaging and dangerous. It wounds and has tremendous emotional impact for those who are the victims of it. Verbal abuse leaves so many of its victims confused and insecure. It results in them not even easily being able to identify that they are in fact being verbally abused. There are so many myths about what verbal abuse is, what causes it and whose fault it is.
Abusers are impostors to the reality of who they are. They wear a the mask of charming when really they are insecure and controlling. Abusers wear the masks necessary to get their own way. Masks of charm, masks of rage, masks of caring, and masks of competence – all to hide who they are. Verbal [...]
Any form of abuse leaves its victims feeling worthless, less than, often lost to him or herself, and not having had a chance to develop the kind of healthy boundaries that would protect against future involvement with other abusive people. Many who were abused as children were abused within the kind of dysfunctional, toxic, and enmeshed family systems that do not teach, model, or even allow them to develop healthy boundaries. Carrying poor emotional boundaries (or lacking them altogether) is a major reason why abused children often grow up to get involved in abusive, enmeshed, and toxic relationships.