There is much at stake. Embracing the patterns of victimhood has cost the human race a great deal. Headlines of terrorism, violence, and disaster assault us with increasing frequency. And the mass of victims grows daily. Individuals blame one another. Communities put up walls. Nations blame nations. How can we turn the victim tide, reaching [...]
The mystery of understanding seeks to engage us in a journey of living an examined life. A journey of seeking personal enlightenment. Do you find that there are aspects of your life that just seem to defy your understanding in actual and purposefully consciously aware ways? Are you a seeker of more personal enlightenment when it comes to aspects of your relationships, your attitude, your moods, and your over-all choices in your life?
You will know … where you are going when you get there. You will know … so much more when you open to being a student of life. You will know … what you need the moment you open to the needing of it. You will know … that you can do better the moment [...]
I applaud the way that Oprah Winfrey has dealt with the abuse scandal at her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa. I think that she stepped up to the plate, responded quickly and appropriately, dealt with what had to be dealt with and then spoke to the media about it. As a sexual abuse [...]
Today marks the one year anniversary of my dog Mandy’s death. It has been a long year of very profound grief for me. It has not been an easy time at all. And yet, ironically, as I come to meet this day, as I had feared to some degree, the meeting and experiencing of this [...]
Wed Oct 24, 2007 "JOHANNESBURG (AFP) – South African police have begun probing allegations that a dormitory matron abused pupils at an elite girl’s school funded by US talk show queen Oprah Winfrey, police said Wednesday." "While police refused to give further details, a report in the weekly Rapport paper said the female matron is [...]
Are you in a toxic relationship? Are things chaotic, dramatic, with lots of conflict? Did you ever think love could be that complicated? Well, guess what, love is not really that complicated at all.
What is felt and shared in toxic relationships is not healthy love. It is toxic love. It is more often than not a kind of codependency. It can be likened to an addiction. Only the addiction in a toxic relationship (while one or both partners may have other addictions as well) is in and of itself an addiction to the other person and to this relationship or to being in an relationship.
Toxic relationship recovery rarely means that such a relationship can survive or be saved. Each person in a toxic relationship needs to learn to take a little more responsibility for him or herself and each will also benefit from focusing on him/herself instead of putting an inordinate amount of focus, time, and energy onto the other.
The fact that a relationship is toxic means that it really needs to come to an end. Sometimes toxic relationships result from the mix of each partner’s unresolved past issues. Other times toxic relationships are at base reflective of major incompatibility.
Abusers are impostors to the reality of who they are. They wear a the mask of charming when really they are insecure and controlling. Abusers wear the masks necessary to get their own way. Masks of charm, masks of rage, masks of caring, and masks of competence – all to hide who they are. Verbal [...]
Any form of abuse leaves its victims feeling worthless, less than, often lost to him or herself, and not having had a chance to develop the kind of healthy boundaries that would protect against future involvement with other abusive people. Many who were abused as children were abused within the kind of dysfunctional, toxic, and enmeshed family systems that do not teach, model, or even allow them to develop healthy boundaries. Carrying poor emotional boundaries (or lacking them altogether) is a major reason why abused children often grow up to get involved in abusive, enmeshed, and toxic relationships.
I was watching a Glenn Beck show on CNN’s Headline News Network recently and found his judgment of Rosie O’Donnell to be not only hypocritical but also very sad considering that Beck’s own life has not been one without its challenges.
I found this fascinating given that Beck was criticising O’Donnell for her anger at the Bush Government and for seeing 9/11 as a conspiracy and for “seeing conspiracies everywhere. O’Donnell who has not said she thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy but who has reiterated often on her blog, “I have questions.” Beck’s criticism of what he refers to as O’Donnell’s anger was right after Beck himself had ranted for over 15 minutes at the beginning of this particular show about the loss of common sense in the United States and in the government and justice system in the U.S. Does Mr. Beck know how much he yells at from his “pulpit”?