When someone tells you who they are, believe them. What is often not thought about in the arena of human life is that for all of the ability we have to think, feel, and perceive that may set us apart from other animals, we are after all still animals. We, like other animals do, have [...]
Filed under Mental Health · Tagged with aj mahari, alcoholism, betrayal bonds, borderline, bpd, codependence, domestic violence, enmeshement, lies, lying, manipulation, Mental Illness, narcissism, npd, personal responsibilty, personality disorders, toxic people, toxic relationships, trauma bonds, verbal abuse, victim, victimization
The roots of abuse, particularly in intimate significant other relationships of those with BPD, have their genesis in the borderline’s re-living of this deep intra-psychic pain. It is emotional pain that is triggered through attempts to be emotionally intimate with someone else. The intimacy that non-personality-disordered people enjoy is stressful and overwhelming to the borderline. It enlivens the borderline’s worst nightmare and causes him or her to re-live his or her unresolved core wound of abandonment pain. It arouses all the maladaptive defences of the borderline because he/she re-experiences the terror and panic of either his/her past experience of feeling annihilated or engulfed and/or his/her fear of being annihilated or engulfed, often alternately, when trying to be close to someone one else.