Pet Loss – Missing My Late Dog Mandy 11 months now
The loss of a beloved pet is a heart-wrenching experience that really, has been like no other loss for me.
Today, it has been 11 months – short-very long months since I had to make the decision to have my beloved dog Mandy put to sleep. It was, and remains, the most gut-wrenching moment of my life. I didn’t want to have to make that choice. I felt like I was playing God. It was a decision that seemed to hold more responsibility than I thought I could stand up to. The moment I had to make that decision was a moment that I had often thought I’d never survive. The moment that Mandy was losing her life, going to sleep, – the moment she died, I was dizzy, overwhelmed, bawling, feeling as if I’d die along with her, feeling like there wasn’t a deep enough breath left in the universe for me – God, what pain and grief. It is a moment that I still feel at times in utter grief that is still palpable.
The moment of losing Mandy was a moment rich with paradox. A moment I re-live in happy memories of Mandy and in my continued grief and missing of Mandy.
