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Posted by A.J. Mahari on April 1, 2010 · Leave a Comment
Whether you have a mental illness, personality disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, love and care about someone who does, or whether you are stressed out, often anxious, or if you have been sexually abused or had a traumatic or even a merely difficult up-bringing (most have some wounds from childhood) or consider yourself to be healthy and just fine Radical Acceptance can and will enhance your overall quality of life and your spiritual experience in and of everyday life.
Filed under Self help · Tagged with borderline personality disorder, change suffering into managable pain, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Ekhart Tolle, emotion regulation, Emotional Mastery, false self, Jack Kornfield author of A Path With Heart, Life Coach A.J. Mahari, meditation, Mental Illness, Mindfulness, observer self, Personal Growth, power of now, radical acceptance, recovery and healing, relaxation, sacred self, self help psychology, self improvement, Spirituality
Posted by A.J. Mahari on December 1, 2007 · 2 Comments
Toxic relationships seem to be pervasive to the point where healthy relationships are in the minority. Toxic relationships are proliferating and have been doing so for the better part of the last few decades. Toxic relationships are the coming together of adults, who carry wounded children deep inside of them, and who were raised in [...]
Filed under Mental Health · Tagged with Abuse, borderline, bpd, codependence, control, domestic abuse, dysfunctional family, enmeshment, false self, fighting, loss of self, love hate, mahari, Mental Illness, narcissism, narcissitic, non borderline, npd, pain, personality disordered, personality disorders, self, toxic love, toxic parents, toxic people, toxic relationships, verbal abuse
Posted by A.J. Mahari on September 23, 2007 · Leave a Comment
Self-mutilation, for many who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is a learned language of profound pain. It is a primordial scream for help. It is
the apex of needing to be heard, validated, and soothed. It is one of the most
prolific and anguished expressions of borderline pain, pain that has otherwise been abandoned. It is self-defeating and holds you hostage to the pain of the false self – to the pain that you can’t heal by further wounding and re-wounding your body and your precious soul.
Self mutilation is the way many with BPD transfer the abandoned pain of BPD from its deep intra-psychic (subconscious) roots to the light of day. Borderlines channel this intolerable emotional pain that they do not know how to cope with into physical pain which is much more understandable. Borderlines understand suffering. The self abuse of self mutilation takes the borderline’s abandonment trauma (Masterson) from the mind to the body. Borderlines use their bodies to express what is too unsafe and what feels annihilating to even begin to absorb in a conscious psychological way. Sadly, however, this transfer of psychological pain into physical pain does nothing to actually begin to get in touch with abandonment trauma in ways that can mean learning, through therapy, to learn the skills necessary to first tolerate the distress of the pain, and then secondly, work at resolving it.
Filed under Abuse · Tagged with Abuse, borderline personality, bpd and cutting, burning, cutting, emotional dysregulation, false self, npd, pain, self abuse, self harm and bpd, self mutilation, true self
Posted by A.J. Mahari on September 20, 2007 · Leave a Comment
The roots of abuse, particularly in intimate significant other relationships of those with BPD, have their genesis in the borderline’s re-living of this deep intra-psychic pain. It is emotional pain that is triggered through attempts to be emotionally intimate with someone else. The intimacy that non-personality-disordered people enjoy is stressful and overwhelming to the borderline. It enlivens the borderline’s worst nightmare and causes him or her to re-live his or her unresolved core wound of abandonment pain. It arouses all the maladaptive defences of the borderline because he/she re-experiences the terror and panic of either his/her past experience of feeling annihilated or engulfed and/or his/her fear of being annihilated or engulfed, often alternately, when trying to be close to someone one else.
Filed under Abuse · Tagged with abandonment, Abuse, bonding, borderline abuse, borderline personality, bpd, false self, insecure attachment, love hate, manipulation, narcissism, non borderline, nonbp, npd, rage
Posted by A.J. Mahari on September 20, 2007 · Leave a Comment
Narcissism, to varying degrees, is a common trait of all personality disorders. Those with personality disorders and any substantial degree of narcissism are not capable of healthy age-appropriate adult intimacy. They are emotionally unavailable people who are emotionally child-like and who more often than not relate in a dysfunctional, toxic, and abusive ways.
Filed under Abuse · Tagged with Abuse, arrogant, borderline personality, bpd, false self, grandiose, narcissism, narcissistic, npd, personality disorders, self absorbed, toxic relationships, verbal abuse, violence in relationships
Posted by A.J. Mahari on September 10, 2007 · Leave a Comment
Life is hectic and getting more hectic by the minute. The demands on our time just seem to keep increasing. We are living in fast-paced narcissistic times. Times that are mirrored to us in often distorted ways by the continued information, electronic, and technological explosion that is continuously proliferating leaving us all in some ways [...]
Filed under Soul Thought of The Day · Tagged with aj mahari, bpd, false self, healing, inspiration, motivation, npd, personhood, prose, quest, recovery, self, self discovery, Soul Thought of The Day, true self, wellness
