Emotional dysregulation is a term often applied to the emotional experience of people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) It is not limited to those with BPD, or even those who have any form of mental illness. Even people considered to have average mental health can and do experience emotional dysregulation. It is the absence of the practice and ability to live in and through emotional mastery.
Life is challenging. Risk is everywhere. Be sure to calculate it carefully. Choose wisely. The winds of adversity blow strongly in most every life at one time or another and in one way or another. Be flexible. Learn to bend with the gusts of wind that blow through your experience in life. Like a tall [...]
There is, of course, a wonderful book out called "The Secret" that proclaims the wonders of the law of attraction. However, I think there is a much more important often ignored secret. What secret could I be talking about? The true secret of your life is not a well-kept secret actually. It is something that [...]
Self-mutilation, for many who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is a learned language of profound pain. It is a primordial scream for help. It is
the apex of needing to be heard, validated, and soothed. It is one of the most
prolific and anguished expressions of borderline pain, pain that has otherwise been abandoned. It is self-defeating and holds you hostage to the pain of the false self – to the pain that you can’t heal by further wounding and re-wounding your body and your precious soul.
Self mutilation is the way many with BPD transfer the abandoned pain of BPD from its deep intra-psychic (subconscious) roots to the light of day. Borderlines channel this intolerable emotional pain that they do not know how to cope with into physical pain which is much more understandable. Borderlines understand suffering. The self abuse of self mutilation takes the borderline’s abandonment trauma (Masterson) from the mind to the body. Borderlines use their bodies to express what is too unsafe and what feels annihilating to even begin to absorb in a conscious psychological way. Sadly, however, this transfer of psychological pain into physical pain does nothing to actually begin to get in touch with abandonment trauma in ways that can mean learning, through therapy, to learn the skills necessary to first tolerate the distress of the pain, and then secondly, work at resolving it.
Lacking various interpersonal skills, and emotional maturation, people with Personality Disorders, are often forced to adopt what they see mirrored among others as seeming successful and pleasing personas in efforts to find ways to bridge the gaps between their own challenges and what is expected of them based largely on their chronological age coupled with their intellectual capacity.
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, sadly for many, in the beginning it can be very difficult to spot the personality disordered from the average. Of course, time and getting to know someone can and will penetrate the mask of the social or pleasing pseudo persona.
In the interpersonal relating of intimate other relationships the personality-disordered not only lose the mask of their plastic personas but they often ultimately reveal the brokenness of deep intrapsychic wounds that result in controlling, dominating, intimidating, manipulating, punishing, needy, clinging, angry, raging, unforgiving, and aloof abusers.