Getting There – Coaching Tip of The Day
Are you in emotional pain? Are you grieving a loss? Do you feel lost? Are you depressed? Do you feel invalidated and/or misunderstood? Are you trying to get somewhere in your life? Do you know where you are going? Do you know what you need? Do you know who you are? Can you describe your definition of getting there? Often the most practical step in creating change in your life, in your efforts to get there, is to first more clearly understand where you currently are and more about who you are right now.
People are often searching for a there to get to because they aren’t sure how to cope with the now of where they already are.
One of the greatest motivators for change is emotional pain. When people are in pain, or feeling depressed, it isn’t difficult to lose perspective about where you actually are in your life right now. Often the road to wanted and needed change that may seem so long or impossible is really not that far away. It’s very attainable. However, if and when perspective get skewed you can end up feeling hopeless, perhaps even helpless.
Where you may be right now, what you may feel right now, versus where you’d like to be or how much you want and need to feel better it is important to recognize that what is realistic to strive for is the center. Middle-ground. Balance.
Without a conscious and aware understanding of this middle-ground and balance in all areas of your life you may be shocked to find that no matter how much growth and change you achieve, or how many goals you identify and work toward it may seem like you are not actually getting there. So, when you get there, what you may discover is that you aren’t where you thought the there you were striving for actually was or would be like.
Pardoxically and ironically, in many ways, “When you get there, there isn’t any there, there.” – Gertrude Stein. What does that mean? Does it leave you thinking, well, great, why bother then? Do you interpret there being no there, there, as meaning that change and striving for middle-ground and balance in your life is some kind of illusion?
Well, it is, and it isn’t. When you get there really means that you put into balance the middle-ground of where you are already are.
Essentially what you may need to give more thought to is that you are already there. You are already where you need to be right now in this unfolding moment. If it doesn’t feel like it that’s because you aren’t radically accepting in and through an attitude of gratitude what is for you in your life right now and that it has purpose.
There is here. There is now. There – is what is. There is where you are right now. There – isn’t somewhere else. Striving to always be getting there is an illusion that means you miss out on the fullness of now.
© A.J. Mahari, April 28, 2010 – All rights reserved.
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