The Self that Sits Inside
There is place inside each one of us where one is who one is - fully. It is the sum total of the joy that can be found in being a defined and unique individual. For some, this place, while it exists inside, is still being sought after. That can be the sum total of angst in the absence of a connection to self. It can be the source of so much addiction, toxic relating, and unmet need.
The self that sits inside, that is your inner child, often sits inside alone, disconnected from the life that you may be living in efforts to out-run it. Efforts to out-run its needing to connect with you. Efforts to not have to feel and heal its pain. Efforts of ego gratification that separate you from the self that sits inside in what is tantamount to failing to choose accepting, tolerating, and understanding your own differences, your weaknesses and your strengths – the qualities that are the pardox of what make you who you really are.
The self that sits alone inside is an alienated self that seeks unbalanced, unhealthy, and often toxic connections believing itself to not be worthy of more.
There is this God-given spirited self that sits inside. Within the realm of the inner child – the gateway to authentic self and to your soul. It sits inside whether you nurture and love it or not. A loving connection or a lack of connection with this precious self that sits inside will define the way that you experience your life.
Being who you are is important. I have never understood why so many seek to be like others or copy the fads and ever-changing trends of pop culture. Being who you are requires an individual freedom that does not mock or seek to be a part of some majority group that defines itself as the “in-crowd”.
To the degree that you can be yourself, who you really are, and share time and space with others, that’s a connectedness within and from personal freedom.
It is the compromise of self to be liked, or approved of, or supposedly accepted that is the place where one gives into to the social pressures of a pack mentality. A pack mentality that defines the illusion of “everyone else”. This illusion of ”everyone else” that in each and every group or pack has its own elite definition. Where the self so often gets lost is in the quest to belong and be accepted into the illusionary “everyone else”. An “everyone else” that always has rules, values, or mores, that excuse its inability to tolerate and/or accept difference. That disguise this inability, this judgment, as something to be coveted.
These elite definitions arise out of fear and personal insecurity that somehow the individual him or herself is diminished by not fitting in. When really, in the big picture of your life, what is most diminishing is any compromise of self that impedes your personal freedom and that ties your worth to something or someone outside of that self.
There is this God-given spirited self that sits inside. It sits inside whether you nurture and love it or not. It defines the way that you experience life. This self awaits your loving attention so that you may cultivate or further cultivate your own awakening to a more fully conscious awareness of your own personal and ever-evolving enlightenment.
If you aren’t in touch with the fullness of your self – of who you really are, you will benefit greatly from taking that journey to the centre of your own authenticity and your own integrity.
Each and every one of us, to some extent or other, references all of our experience through what is either a self known or a self lacking.
Do you know who you are? Have you made peace with who you are? Do you know that whoever you are, you have inherent worth just because you are you. We are human beings, not human-doings. Do not allow yourself to be defined by what you have done or haven’t yet been able to do.
Do not allow that precious self that sits inside of you to be tossed aside or compromised for another minute. Be a seeker of more. Know that the “more” that is that you need to find is really inside of you. There is a world, in this self that sits inside, just waiting to be born. The way to give it meaning and life is not through what you do but through just being who you are.
© A.J. Mahari, September 5, 2008
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