Expectations – how does one assess whether or not his or her expectations are valid? Do you find that the validity of your expectations is often measured by the degree to which someone else, or others, acknowledges or meets them?
If something that we would have wanted or felt cared about as the result of was expected and not received does that mean that we expect too much?
How do we align our expectations of ourselves with others and our expectations of others with ourselves? How do we get into the flow of give and take?
Often, in childhood we were taught that to expect anything was not right, was not fair and was unacceptable. It takes a very strong belief in oneself to continue to expect what often never comes, with an unyielding validation of the worth of your expectation anyway – regardless.
Whether or not expectations are met by others I truly believe that each of us has the right to expect as we do regardless. We just also have to realize that we can’t and won’t always get what we might hope for or expect. We can’t always live up to the expectations that others might try to put on us either.
There can be joy in met expectations and sorrow in unmet expectations. The most important aspect of this is, I guess, is what we choose to do with any unmet expectations. How we react. Whether or not we accept the reality of limitations – ours, and those of others or not.
Expect the best, prepare for the worst. Expect to be understood but do not be surprised when often you are misunderstood. Flow with it. Being misunderstood does not have to feel betraying or abandoning or invalidating. Unchecked expectations can place this meaning on experience. Be mindful not to judge your experience.
The only aspect of our expectations that we have control over is that we strive to meet our own expectations for ourselves and in our own lives first and foremost.
Often we expect to receive what it is that we’ve chosen to give. When you choose to give realistically gauging any expected response may not prove to be anything but painful. We must give what we have to give because it is what we choose to give. We must give it unconditionally. If we attach any expectation to anything we give then we are not truly being giving.
When we give to others what we have to give it is a two-fold and two-way experience of sharing and creating even more positive experience and blessing. We do not always receive from the same source that we give to. However, when you give, you will receive, when the universe knows you most need to receive and from whatever person or source can most get your attention. Sometimes these gifts come in the form of loss, or difficulty, or experiences that can be judged as unwanted.
Be open to all experience. Be open to all feelings. Be in the flow of life. Be willing.
Expectation is hope unleashed within the reality of faith and trust extended unconditionally from an emotionally mature place that means we can meet our own needs and that we can effectively cope with any disillusionment or disappointments that come our way. Setting free specific expectation that could be tied to giving frees you up to receive untold blessings, often when you least expect them.
© A.J. Mahari – All rights reserved.
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