By Marilyn Wann -FAT!SO? : Because You Don't Have to Apologize for Your Size

"Society", that faceless, nameless, whatever out there that sets the standards via Hollywood and media that are difficult for men but are impossible for women as "they" seek to define what is and isn't okay (or beautiful) from a selfish patriarchal point of view. Primarily women being attractive to men is what drives all of this. Hollywood's standard of beauty, the diet industry and so forth. I think too though that men are beginning to struggle more with size issues and body image and self-acceptance as well.

I use FAT as an ancronym for Finally Accept This -- "This" being whatever body size it is that you are that you (for now or for ever) do not want to change or cannot change. I think that taking back the word FAT is important and empowering.

One of my personal pet peeves is the term "overweight". My response to any reference to my being overweight is always...."Whose weight am I over, and what does it matter?

As far as we know (well depending upon your spiritual/philosphical beliefs) we get one life each. Life is too short to constantly berate yourself because you are fat. By the way what is too fat anyway? Who gets to decide? Why is it that fat is one of the last bastions of abuse and the butt of so many jokes? Ever ask yourself these questions? I do. Then I get to thinking, followed quickly by feeling militant! You can only be who you are. You have a body and where is it written that anyone else can decide for you whether or not it is "right", or "acceptable" or "beautiful"?

It is up to each and every one of us to learn to like and then love his/herself for who he/she is and to not base that self-love, self- esteem or self-acceptance on the size of your body. Remember you have an inner-self and an inner-life too. Be gentle with yourself!