Activity"1. What are your patterns of self-neglect when you get into a recycling situation? For example, mine include: eliminating fun activities, neglecting proper nutrition, and pushing harder when the problem is I've pushed too hard. 2. What are some of your favorite acts of self-care, activities that help you feel good about yourself? What are some things you enjoyed doing for yourself when you began your recovery from codependency that you've stopped doing? What is your rationale for not doing those things anymore? 3. Look over the recovery checklist that follows. This checklist can help you determine your strengths and weaknesses in recovery. It can also be helpful in setting your recovery goals.
Recovery Check List-maintaining appropriate daily routine -setting and achieving daily and long-term goals -personal care -setting and sticking to limits with children and others -constructive planning -appropriate decision-making and problem-solving efforts -choosing behaviors -well-rested -resentment-free -accepting (versus denying) -not controlling others nor feeling controlled by them -open to appropriate criticism and feedback -free of excessive criticism or self and others -gratitude versus self-pity and deprivation -responsible financial decisions (not over-or underspending) -appropriate nutrition (not over-or undereating) -not escaping or avoiding through work or sex -self-responsibility (versus scapegoating and blaming) -valuing wants and needs -free of victim self-image -free of fear and anxiety -free of guilt and shame -free of worry and obession -not feeling excessively responsible for others -faith in a higher power -trusting and valuing self -making appropriate decisions about trusting others -maintaining recovery routine (attending support groups) -mind clear and peaceful; logical thinking; free of confusion -feeling and dealing appropriately with feelings, including anger -appropriately disclosing -reasonable expectations of self and others -needing people versus NEEDING them -feeling secure with self; self-affirming -communicating clearly, directly, and honestly -balanced mood -maintaining cntact with friends -feeling connected and close to people versus lonely and isolated -healthy perspective; life looks worth living -not using alcohol and medication to cope -having fun, relaxing during leisure activities, enjoying routine -giving appropriate positive feedback to self and others -getting--and allowing self to believe--positive feedback"
"Toxic Shame" Main Coda Page Soul's Self-Help
as of September 24, 2000