"After we've accepted ourselves and given ourselves a hug, we ask ourselves two questions:

  
       'What do I need to do to take care of myself?'  
       'What am I supposed to learn?'


Often, the self-care concepts we need to practice are basic:

  
       acceptance  
       surrender  
       realistic evaluation of what we can control  
       detachment  
       removing the victim  
       dealing with feelings  
       taking what we want and need seriously  
       setting boundaries  
       making choices and taking responsibility for them 
       setting goals  
       getting honest  
       letting go, and  
       giving ourselves huge doses of love and nurturing


Consciously focusing on our recovery program, talking to healthy
people, plying ourselves with meditations and positive thoughts,
relaxing, and doing fun activities help too.

We need to get our balance back.

Taking time to care for ourselves at work may require some 
different considerations than caring for ourselves at home...Self-care 
is self-responsibility.

Codependency is a self-defeating cycle. Codependent feelings lead
to self-neglect, self-neglect leads to more codependent feelings and 
behaviors, leading to more self-neglect, and around we go. Recovery
is a more energizing cycle. Self-care leads to better feelings, 
healthier feelings lead to more self-care, and around that track 
we travel.

Don't worry if you don't understand, or if you aren't ready to 
learn the lesson today, that's okay. Lessons don't go away. They keep 
presenting themselves until we learn them. And we'll do that when we
are ready and the time is right."


"Toxic Shame"
"Recovery Checklist"
Main Coda Page
Soul's Self-Help





 as of September 24, 2000