Those with personality disorders either are not able to, or have tremendous difficulty, with the dialectical dyad of healthy relating. Personality disordered individuals are for the most part very black and white. They live in painful inner-worlds of dissociative split-off opposites.
There are many myths and there is much misinformation about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is not anything to be taken lightly. Verbal abuse is abuse. You do not have to be hit to be abused. Verbal abuse has profound and long-lasting effects on self-esteem and on emotional and physical health. It needs to be taken seriously.
Abusers are impostors to the reality of who they are. They wear a the mask of charming when really they are insecure and controlling. Abusers wear the masks necessary to get their own way. Masks of charm, masks of rage, masks of caring, and masks of competence – all to hide who they are.
Those who are verbally, sexually, physically, and/or emotionally abused in childhood often end up in abusive relationships and either suffering more abuse or being abusive themselves. Why? Patterns and unresolved and unfinished business are two of the main reasons.
Are you in a toxic relationship? Are things chaotic, dramatic, with lots of conflict? Did you ever think love could be that complicated? Well, guess what, love is not really that complicated at all.
In the audio program, “Coping With Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People” A.J. Mahari talks about the reality of coping with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people generally with a focus on the reality that holidays bring out the worst of the worst in toxic relating.
The truth about the focus on the abuser is the victim needs to focus much more on him/herself and what he/she needs. The victim needs to get clear about what action he/she needs to take and how to be safe. This is more important than the self-defeating and self-negating focus on the abuser.
Transformation is a process of change in nature or character. The type of transformation that unfolds in the process of personal growth, healing, and recovery. Transformation by its very nature produces pain and/or discomfort.
A.J. Mahari has recently launched her new website, Phoenix Rising Publications where you can purchase her Ebooks, Audio Programs, Life Coaching Services, Self Help Courses, and Educational Videos.
In this world there will always be some people who, for whatever constellation of reasons, need to tear down others in order to feel okay about themselves. There will always be people that cross our paths to criticize us and to attempt to dump a chunk of their own lostness, brokenness, and negativity upon us.
