There is stigma attached to both mental illness and suicide. Therefore, on top of what people feel by the time they are in crisis, there is the double bind of shame that leads so many to suffer quietly until they cannot bear what they feel any longer.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder has become synonymous with pejorative vilifying stereotypes that paint everyone diagnosed with it along with others with varying degrees of narcissism as monstrous people without worth. Rarely, in life, is the sum total of any human being with a personality disorder or not that simple or that black and white. Narcissists are in pain. Their humanity must be recognized.
Those with personality disorders either are not able to, or have tremendous difficulty, with the dialectical dyad of healthy relating. Personality disordered individuals are for the most part very black and white. They live in painful inner-worlds of dissociative split-off opposites.
One of the most paralyzing aspects of any mental illness is the toxic shame that so many are burdened with as the result of society’s general lack of understanding, knowledge and compassion. When one is mentally ill and has it constantly mirrored back to them that is shameful and negative in the eyes of society if can be more than just difficult, it can be almost impossible, for those who are mentally ill to not internalize this misinformed attitude. Internalized shame is toxic by its very nature.
Mental health care has been under scrutiny of late in Kitchener-Waterloo due to the on-going inquest into the suicide deaths of three men at Grand River Hospital over a four month period from late 2000 into 2001. The number of suicides and where they occurred send a strong message that the needs of too many mental health consumers are not being adequately met.
Those who are verbally, sexually, physically, and/or emotionally abused in childhood often end up in abusive relationships and either suffering more abuse or being abusive themselves. Why? Patterns and unresolved and unfinished business are two of the main reasons.
Are you in a toxic relationship? Are things chaotic, dramatic, with lots of conflict? Did you ever think love could be that complicated? Well, guess what, love is not really that complicated at all.
Loneliness is a pervasive, powerful, and purposeful experience. It is a teacher. of profound life lessons when we are willing to engage it. Loneliness is, on one level a universal experience. There is a collective experience, to some degree, by each and every living individual of what it means, from time to time, to be lonely.
A.J. Mahari is a Mental Health and Life Coach. She works with clients from all over the world who have Borderline Personality Disorder or who have a family member, loved one, or relationship partner (or ex) who has BPD. She also works with people with many other concerns and issues in their lives. You can read much more about A.J. Mahari’s mental health and life coaching at Touchstone Life Coaching Services
In an effort to confront the stigma of mental illness Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre has in partnership with Manulife Financial have launched a web-based initiative to host their “Let’s Face This – Confront the Stigma of Mental Illness” campaign. Mental Illness is now estimated to personally affect over 10 million Canadians.
